Hold my hand

Saturday afternoon the boys and I picked up mom for our Spirit Christmas dinner volunteer meeting.  The Spirit dinner is where I found myself 2 years ago as I faced Christmas without my children for the first time.  An entirely volunteer driven event that for it's 20th year, strives to put on 3 sittings of full turkey dinner complete with crafts and Santa gifts for children, coffee cards and new socks for the adults - 800 people fed and loved on a day that no one should feel alone.  No questions are asked, no judgment given - anyone can attend and are treated with respect, dignity and as a welcome guest from any walk of society.  Last year I collected baking and cards for the dinner and this year again, find myself a volunteer for the day as the boys will be with their dad and Miss Shirley.  The meeting started with the board of directors doing a dance while this video played on a large screen behind them.  Tears came unbidden as I was surrounded with the feeling of love and unselfish giving in the hearts and smiles of the people in the room.

It is a powerful message - to have someone's hand to hold.  It is a powerful event - a powerful thing to be part of.  This team of mighty elves.  Hands to hold and love to share.  Mom will be helping with the buffet, Dad will be in the kitchen and I will be in Santa's workshop again.  The workshop is out of sight, organizing and augmenting the secret Santa gifts ready for the children who are registered and creating equally amazing and hopefully appropriate gifts for those children who arrive on the day.  It will be a frantic while as guests arrive for each sitting and we receive the names of kids who have arrived, and the sex and age of children for whom there is not gift yet prepared.  And then in procession as the guests enjoy a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings, we will be a steady stream of elves, taking gifts up to Santa to deliver as the children are called up one by one by name - a look of incredulous surprise and delight on many tiny faces.  Christmas will be teary.  I know that.  It is already.  But I also know that my lonely heart will find joy in the good work done that day.  That maybe in helping other people and being part of something so special as the Spirit dinner, I am showing my own children that we can all be part of creating a better world.  One person, one cookie, one smile at a time.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more cookies to bake...